You have been slogging for hours creating the iftar of the day, checking for anything and everything to put on the table for the Majazi Khuda. Like a warrior back from his battles victorious, the husband walks up to feast, and says this one liner, that makes you wonder,
OH? WAH G WAH…..?….?
Mostly a generic comment or something out of the blue because “Husbands are like that! ”
1. Khana kam nahi?
Against popular opinion, this husband is not a big eater, he’s just very hungry post Roza. However big the table spread is, he is always of the opinion k,“Nope, not enough”.
2. Itna fry! Mere liye kia hai?
This is your infamous diet conscious hubby. He is on a strict diet at the iftar table, grabbing the fruit and baked items. His resolution to lose weight this Ramadan never waivers at Iftar. Although post iftar, these husbands are found in the kitchen looking for snacks to munch on (Read: high-calorie snacks).
3. Aaj pakore nahin banaaye?
These are your staunch pakora lovers. They want pakoras when it’s raining, when they are fasting or when they smell fry food. A sack full of potato pakoras does nothing for his appetite, because hey, pakore se kiss ka pait bharta hai?
4. Phir fruit chaat? Kal bhi yahi tha na?
These are husbands who aren’t big on eating fruits. Not just that, but they have a repel towards fruits cut and kept together. It’s no use telling them that you can have more than one type of fruit chaat and kal yeh wala nahi tha. Leaving everything that is there on the table, the first thing they will do is express their dislike of having a thing called “fruit chaat” in this world.
5. Itna sab kiun banaya?
These are the minimalists. It’s not like they don’t like to eat, on the contrary, they have a huge appetite. But they like a one or two dish party only. Decision making on what to eat kills the joy out of binge eating for them. Variety confuses them and makes them question, why, why, oh why???
6. Meethe mein kia hai?
Your candy loving sweetie pies. They will have the chaat, samosas, the drink, sandwiches, the biryani and the Raita, stuff themselves till they are bloated. Then they will look at you, smile and ask, “Meetha?”
7. Maza agaya! Biryani hojaaye!
Meet the typical meat loving, Karachi born husband. Trust me, their appetite is never satisfied. Apart from Mutton Biryani, everything is light eating for them. You can have a table spread of 21 dishes (that they will finish up) only to say, “Chalo, biryani le aao”
8. *Burp*…. Silence
Samajh tou aap gaye honge.
There is another type, that we will not talk about because of clear gender discrimination,
“AREY WAH TYPE”
What type do you fit in? This is an attempt at humor and not be taken “too” seriously.
This humor was originally written by Zahra and published on Pink Parhlo.